LOL, Very funny. Wonder if that carrot hurt....oh never mind

Here is mine:

To all the Teenagers

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it.

Rule 2: The world does not care about your self-esteem. The world expects you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make 50 thousand a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss!

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping – they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, and it's not your friends' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes – learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents were not as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, cooking your food, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This does not bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into terms and semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find out about yourself. You have to do that in your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.